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Post by Rusty Trosclair on Oct 22, 2003 23:23:15 GMT -5
Okay. I just went to the bathroom to take a piss, and what do I see right as the stream began to flow, I see it. A huge cockroach- right on the underside of the toilet across from me. It was checking out my huge junk! Its feelers were going into overtime, probably because a stream of urine was mere inches away from it.
I actually thought about pissing on it, but then I remembered that some of those sumbitches take to flying around, and I could imagine the horror of that happening. The roach, dripping piss, flies straight at my junk, and I spin around the room, Rusty the Piss Fountain. You know, the piss stream doesn't have a pause button. And lord knows what that dastardly roach would do to my tender manly bits.
Anyway, I backed away as far from the toilet as my urine stream would allow and avoided eye contact with the roach. He stared at me and didn't even flinch as I flushed the toilet. As far as I know, he's still there.
You know what is STILL freaking me out right now? What if I had to do a little more than take a piss? I am not up to thinking about how THAT could have ended up. Ever since I saw that stupid movie "Brokedown Palace" and the roach crawls into Kate Beckinsale's ear, roaches in body orifices make my skin crawl. Which it is doing right now.
Man I hate roaches.
Thanks.
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Post by endlessjoe on Oct 22, 2003 23:39:22 GMT -5
Dude, I think that was quite possibly the funniest post I've ever seen on this message board. It was practically glowing when I clicked on it, and once I did, doves flew out from behind the computer and harps began playing. So, summing up: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......*deep breath*.....HA!......haha". Good stuff.
I should also add while it is quite possibly the funniest post I've seen, it's also the most revolting. Double wammy for you, Mr. Trosclair.
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Post by Nick Hebert on Oct 23, 2003 2:09:55 GMT -5
haha
I totally agree!
Did you even try to kill it?
I've never seen anyone just accept the fact that a roach is around. Everytime I've seen a roach, I've done whatever it would take to kill that bastard. I'm just not okay with the fact that a roach is crawling around and I know about it...
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Post by Chemicals on Oct 23, 2003 9:50:17 GMT -5
best. post. ever.
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Post by Rusty Trosclair on Oct 23, 2003 9:52:09 GMT -5
Man, Nick, I wanted to kill the little bastard, believe me! But in the situation, I really had to take care of my other business first, you know? I don't know about you, but I would feel kind of weird about killing a roach with my dick in my hand. And then, I was so revolted/excited about a roach watching me piss from INSIDE the toilet, I had to rush in my room to post about it. After I was done posting, I went check out the situation, and the roach was gone.
That fag probably went crawl back into his little roach grotto inside the bathroom wall to wank off to images of my massive tool.
Thanks.
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Post by Rusty Trosclair on Oct 23, 2003 12:14:23 GMT -5
****UPDATE ON THE ROACH SITUATION****
I was eating some tuna fish sammiches with my mom today, and I was telling her about my experiences with the roach and how I posted it here. Right when I began my rant, she stopped me.
"That was YOU that left that fucking roach in the toilet for me?!"
Apparently, she woke up at 2:00 a.m. with the need to take a piss. So, when she looked in the bowl, the roach was floating in the water, wings spread out (I knew that asshole was a flyer!) and legs trying to swim out of the water.
Well, not wanting to sit on the toilet, she tried to flush it down the toilet. No deal. Roach still swimming. Another flush, still the roach swam. So, she got out the PLUNGER~! and flushed again, but THE ROACH STILL SWAM! So, one more flush, with the roach directly under the plunger, sent that little bastard right into the cesspool! Swim in my shit you cocksmoking roach!
The Trosclair family can now piss without fear!
Thanks.
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Post by endlessjoe on Oct 23, 2003 22:54:30 GMT -5
*Whew*!!!!! I can sleep tight tonight, knowing the mystery of the Trosclair household demon bug is solved. The suspense was killing me.
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Post by Jason/Peppito on Oct 24, 2003 8:06:57 GMT -5
That post should made into an article!!!!! That was platinum man!
The thought of Rusty and Aunt Louise having the roach conversation during tuna sandwiches actually won me over more than the actual roach story itself. Fantastic shit!! Where was Uncle Norm during all this?
That reminds me of how the Trosclair blood runs!
My dad (brother of Norm) would have done the same exact thing!!!! He would have just left it there, without even really caring that there was a roach staring at his package. Fun stuff!
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Post by Nick Hebert on Oct 24, 2003 8:51:26 GMT -5
I bet you Chris' package hangs into the toilet, so he'd probably care.
If the roach would get on his "junk", he'd just probably say, ".......J....., go to the Double D, get me 39 Hotdogs, you can have a bite of one......and tell them to take their roaches back...."
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Post by Jason/Peppito on Oct 24, 2003 11:59:56 GMT -5
I wouldn't doubt it!!!
Hell, if I'd be able to get 2 hotdogs, I'd consider myself a winner!!
You don't mess with Chris' hotdogs!
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Post by Shiitake Mushroom-head on Nov 5, 2003 3:59:07 GMT -5
I think I am the only Mad Dog (20/20) that would take extreme pleasure in pissing on a roach. Its really fun and I suggest you all try it. Of course, because MY tool is wound around my leg because its so long, it is quite the adventure to aim enough to hit the dastardly arthropod.
Nothing sucks more, though, than waking up and having one on your body. I do have to say though that as long as it didnt come crawling out of my ass just seconds before I can deal with it. How would you know if it did, though? Smell it? Would your ass hurt? Maybe Luke knows because I am sure that stuff comes crawling out of his ass all the time. You know....small dogs, midgets, small plastic trinkets...
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Robert Acosta
Official Wazooteer
Wazoo Staff
what is wrong with today, today?
Posts: 116
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Post by Robert Acosta on Nov 5, 2003 13:13:49 GMT -5
did someone say MD 20/20? ;D
oh the joys of Big Boi's house funneling bottles of that shit!
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Post by Rusty Trosclair on Nov 5, 2003 15:12:46 GMT -5
Of course, because MY tool is wound around my leg because its so long, it is quite the adventure to aim enough to hit the dastardly arthropod. This fool ain't lying about the huge tool. I've seen it, and it is dastardly, NOT the arthropod. What the fuck IS an arthropod anyway, Josh's Wild Kingdom? Thanks. |
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Post by endlessjoe on Nov 5, 2003 18:00:27 GMT -5
I'll bet it doesn't have the charm of Jason's junk, though. I mean, come on.......who else can turn their twig and berries into a turtle or a brain?
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Post by Rusty Trosclair on Nov 5, 2003 21:32:30 GMT -5
Please explain that some more Joe, please? Or better yet, take some pics please!?
Thanks.
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