|
|
Post by Rusty Trosclair on Nov 12, 2003 17:32:29 GMT -5
Well, the results are in (as best as I could tabulate them) and here are the round two advancements, plus a few bonus fights to vote on.
Fight 1: Joe (holding a baseball bat with nails in it) vs. Rusty (holding Shawna hostage suspended over a vat of acid and weilding two knives)
Fight 2: Nick (wearing a Wal-Mart vest stained with Rob's blood) vs. Buddy (wearing a shirt with a picture of Angie from dairy on it)
Please vote for who would win in these fights to the death and please, be descriptive and complete with the voting. I love you people.
BONUS FIGHTS!!
Josh Robert vs. Brennan Matherne, in a fight to the death in the Kuwaiti deserts (Brennan is in a tank, but Josh has 2 grenades and an M-16)
Gorg Pit (wearing a pirate costume with his fencing rapier) vs. every Japanese citizen in the mountains of Japan after Gorg proclaims himself as the American Goszilla)
GO GO GO!!!!
Thanks!
|
|
|
|
Post by Nick Hebert on Nov 12, 2003 18:32:55 GMT -5
Match #1
Joe vs. Rusty
The two decided not to fight and just hang out. They hang out in Joe's apartment watching old mix tape videos and listening to music from the late 90's. Hunger sets in and the two decided to go pick up some food. A man in a green Oldsmobile Achieva cuts off Joe and comes really close to hitting Joe's truck. Joe is enraged. Rusty says, "what the fuck, that's my car!?!?" Joe realizes that if Rusty would have not let his car get stolen, that would have never happen, so instead of beating the hell out of his steering wheel, Joe decides to beat the hell out of Rusty. Joe unbuckles his seatbelt and slams on his breaks, as this happens, Rusty's seatbelt tightens up, leaving him defenseless...
end of story...
winner: Joe by road rage experience...
match #2
Nick vs. Buddy
you see, I'm one of the few people Buddy could never fight. I could piss Buddy off beyond belief, and he would just laugh. Jason, for sure, is another one. I, also, could never fight Buddy. Not for the same reasons though, I just know that I would have no chance at all against him. Well, me and Buddy decide to have a friendly submission match, and he has me screaming like a girl within the first 15 seconds...
winner: Buddy, by his resemblense to Ken Shamrock
Josh Robert vs. Brennan Matherne
Brennan submits this wonderful roleplay, then comes out of his tank to show Josh just how bad he will kick his ass. Josh then explodes a grenade, taking out both of them... All the camels in Kuwait go into morning as their "baby daddy" has gone away... "American Pie" by Don McLean is heard in the background...
winner: the owners of the camels Josh stole
Gorg vs. the Japs
The Japs....slighty outnumber Gorg here, and if there's one thing you don't fuck with, its Japanese. These people are psychiotic. Let's just hope Mr. Pogo isn't around...
winner: Japs after they feed Gorg to scorpions...
|
|
|
|
Post by endlessjoe on Nov 15, 2003 18:58:55 GMT -5
I keep wanting to reply to this thread, but I feel so uncreative and stupid. I'm not fit to at this point in time. I shall return when I don't have the brain of a squid.
|
|
|
|
Post by pia on Nov 16, 2003 2:00:49 GMT -5
ha ha ....squid brain,squid brain!!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by poppycock on Nov 16, 2003 18:09:36 GMT -5
We all know Mr. Fish Pockets is indeed a squid brain.
Mr. Fish Pockets, flipper hands needs come carp!
|
|
|
|
Post by Shiitake Mushroom-head on Nov 18, 2003 11:14:59 GMT -5
Here is the long awaited Josh Robert version of this round of fights.
1.) Joe (holding a baseball bat with nails in it) vs. Rusty (holding Shawna hostage suspended over a vat of acid and weilding two knives):
This all depends on if Rusty is wearing a dastardly hat and handlebar mustache and if he cackles constantly while rubbing his hands Tommy Becnel-esque. Actually come to think of it, Joe will win either way. Should Rusty wear the above mentioned outfit with the above mentioned mannerism then like all movies of old with the hero’s woman tied to a train track or the like, Rusty (as the villain, because he is oh so villainous ) has no choice but to be defeated and to have Joe say some words about Rusty changing his villainous ways. Now, if Rusty is dressed in his everyday duds with a trench coat accessory, then this is how it would go.
Rusty would have no choice but to eventually cut the rope holding Shawna over the vat of acid (I wonder if it is the same acid that the Joker fell into in the first Batman movie?) after antagonizing Joe. With this done, Joe would fly into a blind rage and destroy everything in sight with his Baseball Bat of Doom. However, in this blind rage Joe would undoubtedly break open the vat of acid, mortally injuring himself.
2.) Nick (holding Shawna hostage suspended over a vat of acid and weilding two knives) vs. Buddy (wearing a shirt with a picture of Angie from dairy on it):
No fight would happen. Why? I seem to remember one party at Jason T’s house where Nick and Buddy ended up crying on each other for nearly half an hour because someone’s grandmother died. The person that died was not related to either one of them, mind you. It is my belief that two people that have had that sort of experience could never fight each other to the death. The worst thing that would happen would be Nick vomiting uncontrollably because of the visions of Angie from Dairy in her weight belt and gloves.
3.) Josh (with an M-16 and two grenades) vs. Brennan (in a tank):
I guess this all depends on what sort of tank Brennan is in, but here is my best guess on how this match would go.
Brennan comes rolling up in his tank and makes every attempt to run over Josh…but as we all know tanks are only good for running over small Chinamen in Tianamen Square. As Josh evades Brennan’s attempts all nimbly-pimbly like, Josh gets close enough to the tank to climb up on top. Brennan loses sight of Josh, stops the tank, and opens the top hatch and sees Josh grinning like mad. Josh kicks open the hatch the rest of the way, butt strokes Brennan, tosses in both Grenades, emptys all 30 rounds in the M-16s magazine into the tank’s interior, and then closes the hatch. Josh sits on top of the hatch and pops a toothpick in his mouth (he no longer smokes...surprising, aint it?) while both grenades explode inside the tank.
4.) Gorg Pit (wearing a pirate costume with his fencing rapier) vs. every Japanese citizen in the mountains of Japan after Gorg proclaims himself as the American Godzilla:
There would be no fight, as all Japanese citizens love Godzilla and treat him like God. Gorg would be brought a throne made of yen and bukkake where he would sit for all eternity as Japan’s new protector against Mothra and Mecha-Godzilla.
|
|
